Sunday, February 24, 2008

A Journal Entry From Jennifer: God is not Safe!

Dear Journal, Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2008 On the way from Denver to Detroit in the airplane...

I do not know where to begin...My heart is reeling between a myriad of emotions; happy, sad, upset, at peace, and did I mention sad? Oddly I do not sense depression coming over me, just a deep sadness and loss like never before, even with after my miscarriage. Now, after this tragic car accident and my grandfather's death, I feel as though no one could shock me, nothing would be a complete surprise because of the things I've witnessed. Nothing is a shock now! I know deeper than ever before, more than I ever wanted to know that God is not safe! It doesn't matter how close you feel to him, where you serve him, or anything else...The devil and sin are at work in the world, (the world is not perfect in it's current state), and though God can, he doesn't usually intervene. If he did then the world would look much different and we would not have free will nor experience the natural consequence of sin. Instead, we'd be exempt from any harm or pain merely because we're God's children...But we aren't, no we are subject to everything.. So was Christ! Even he felt death, sorrow, and horrible pain. A pastor we met in Denver said that when we suffer, when God's creation dies, he too is in pain, he too experiences loss and sadness. Josh and I agree...And if God didn't, I'd be likely to distrust Him. I must trust Him because he is the only hope I have--There is nothing else in this world to cling to, not even myself, nor my husband, neither one can save! The week after the wreck, in the center of immense grief and turmoil I sensed God's presence in a powerful way. I knew he was with us in the MTI building. It didn't make sense at times, but oh I knew and maybe that's why I didn't want to leave that place. It was my refuge and home for 4 and a half weeks, and in the middle of loss and incredible pain, God was there. He met me there. And as I think of Scott and Andrea who I saw last night at the hospital, I'm humbled and stilled by what Scott said during SPLICE only a few days before the accident...In Cambodia my biggest fear is having something happen to Isaac or Andrea. I'm haunted by the fact that something did happen to them, but not in Cambodia, but here in the states. And I know just as well that something could happen to me or my family too...GOD IS NOT SAFE!

Jennifer Rebecca

We know and believe that God is good, but we know too that he does not guarantee our safety in this life!
This journal article articulates a lot of what both of us are thinking right now. Thanks for reading it!

Josh and Jennifer

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