Life isn't fair. That was my dad's favorite thing to say to me and my brother growing up. "Life isn't fair." How true that statement is. I don't think everything can be explained and I know God doesn't will pain and suffering. I know I didn't have this miscarriage because God wanted me to. Still, God is the healer and comforter. He is the only one who can help me deal with the pain I feel deep down inside. Yesterday, the healing process began and I'm thankful for it! Today it dawned on me what I can learn from this difficult situation. Before I found out I was pregnant I was not ready to assume the responsibility of motherhood. I was just too plain selfish. We had planned on starting our family in a year, but the thought of it scared me. I didn't want a little baby to come and wreck what I had going on. Josh and I have a good thing going. Why change it? But after the surprise of the little one that I thought would be born in April, the world seemed right. I am now prepared to be a selfless mother and love a little child more than I ever thought I could. If anything, I can take that away from this hard time. Praise God!
Jennifer Rebecca
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