Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Life isn't fair

Life isn't fair. That was my dad's favorite thing to say to me and my brother growing up. "Life isn't fair." How true that statement is. I don't think everything can be explained and I know God doesn't will pain and suffering. I know I didn't have this miscarriage because God wanted me to. Still, God is the healer and comforter. He is the only one who can help me deal with the pain I feel deep down inside. Yesterday, the healing process began and I'm thankful for it! Today it dawned on me what I can learn from this difficult situation. Before I found out I was pregnant I was not ready to assume the responsibility of motherhood. I was just too plain selfish. We had planned on starting our family in a year, but the thought of it scared me. I didn't want a little baby to come and wreck what I had going on. Josh and I have a good thing going. Why change it? But after the surprise of the little one that I thought would be born in April, the world seemed right. I am now prepared to be a selfless mother and love a little child more than I ever thought I could. If anything, I can take that away from this hard time. Praise God!
Jennifer Rebecca

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