Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Challenged



The day before we left for our one week trip to Texas I was feeling tired and worn out after packing and running around that Saturday. Sunday we'd be leaving the house at 6am to drive to the States and it was now almost 8pm on Saturday evening. I was on the phone with our friend who is now part of the small group we started in our home, and I was trying to explain to her that I was too worn out to stop by and visit her. After just receiving the news 2 days prior about my miscarriage and preparing myself for the trip ahead, I felt as if I had nothing left in me for even one last visit. My friend was understanding, but sounded disappointed that I wouldn't be visiting her and I changed the subject to ask how her week had been. She explained how it had been extra hard to make ends meet and feed her children, but that thankfully they had not gone without food. A neighbor had brought some food over, and she also thanked me for giving her some leftovers from a dinner she had attended at our house earlier in the week. I never thought leftovers would be so meaningful. She asked for nothing. Then as I was on the phone with this dear friend, and I put myself, a single mom trying to feed my kids, in her shoes I thought "what can I do?" It dawned on me I might have some leftovers in the fridge and on the shelf that would go bad if they were not used soon. I couldn't leave that food in the house to go bad while we were out of town when a friend down the street did not have anything to eat. I told my her that I'd be over shortly to bring her some things I had in the fridge and say good-bye. Somehow, I found energy and I started clearing out my fridge. Josh and I have always tried to not be wasteful or buy more food than we eat, but I was stunned by the things that were going to go to waste if I didn't do something with the things in our fridge before our trip. Fruit, veggies, leftover salad, and pancake batter were some of the things I put in grocery bags to take to my friend. As I was walking down the stairs of my apartment building on my way to the car I felt convicted. How many times had I gone on a trip and not given away ALL of the good food in my house to someone who needed it? How many times had I thrown away leftovers instead of giving them to a person in need? I decided I would not do that again. I wouldn't let food go bad or forget to clear out the fridge, instead I share it. It was clear to me in that moment that to do otherwise would be to sin and to deny Christ. Mat 25:45 "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." And if we do not know anyone who is without food or needy, then maybe we should make some new friends. You would have loved to see the look on my friend's face when she and her children saw the grocery bags. They were grateful for my leftovers and they put them to use.

Something that so many of our Mexican friends here have taught us is generosity. To love and give even when you have little. This same friend in my above story and her family are always opening up their home to us. Even when they don't have much to eat at their house they share it with us and will hardly let us walk out the door without feeding us. I struggle with excepting things from people when I know I have enough to eat at home. Yet this is the beauty of generosity. And these people have taught me how to share and love. I could tell numerous stories of our friends endless giving, but I will pick one that happened just yesterday.

We were at a discipleship group that we are leading with some new people and I complemented the host on her very lovely ring. If you know me you know I enjoy jewelry very much. I was trying to complement her and thought the ring was nice. She told me to try it on and the next thing I knew she was giving it to me. I protested at first and then realized quickly I would be rude if I did not accept it. How ironic I thought. I didn't ask for the ring and the last thing I actually need is more jewelry. But this sweet woman made me think. How attached am I to my things? If someone said they liked my jewelry, I like my jewelry too, would I take it off and give it to them? It doesn't matter if I payed five dollars for it, twenty dollars or if I received it as a special gift. Am I willing to part with my things?

The truth is I have been challenged. Challenged in my reading, Bible study, and by living life with my new friends here. Am I willing to be like Jesus? To give all of me to others? To love and be willing to give even when I feel I have nothing to share?

Jennifer

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